AH HA!!

I've figured it out.  I think I have.  I've heard a few too many ghost stories, compliments mostly of my bff.  She and her family have this long history of creepy happenings.  Shan't get into those presently.

It's not that.  It's not that I'm afraid there's a ghost lurking about (although, I must say, aside from a confusing odor permeating this building, the air is a touch different.  Just, different).  I have no clue about this man.  Why does that bother me?  The unknown is so scary!  I've been literally afraid to leave my apartment in the morning before work.  I've been afraid to come home at night after work.  I've been too afraid to leave after dark to go someplace, anyplace else, because I'll have to go through the lobby on the first floor, which is close to the basement.  The chandelier has its lights out.  I work early in the morning and late into the day and the sun hasn't peeked its face through the windows quite yet.  It's still dark.  So I've been anxious trying to get anywhere that's not here.  When I'm not here, I get anxious before the ride/walk/drive home.  And I certainly can't speak aloud to anyone about this while I'm physically in my apartment.

On the bike ride home from work tonight, I had a private brainstorm session.  I thought it might make me feel better.  Who was this guy?
He might have had a job.
He might have had a daughter or two.
He might have been paying child support.
He might have hated HHP like I do.
He might have liked to cook.  He might have had a specialty.
He might have been annoyed when it rains.
He might have been missed.  He might not have been.
He might have went to his mother's house on Christmas.
He might have always been on time with his bills.
He might have said hello and thank you to every bus driver in Pittsburgh.
He might have been a good student in school.
He might have grounded his kid for getting bad grades.
He might have loved his boss.
He might have liked to shoot the breeze with Nick.  He might have gotten annoyed if with Nick if he didn't have the time to chat.
He might have been a vegetarian.  He might have been allergic to eggs.
He might have liked to go to the drive-in in the summertime.
He might have been really sweet.
He might have hung out at the library every day.  He might have been one of the patrons that drive Daniel assuredly insane.
He might have liked to have a beer after work with his buddies.
He might have liked to garden.  He might have over-watered every plant he ever tried to grow.
He might have read the paper every day.
He might have separated all of his recyclables from the trash and put it out every week like clockwork.
He might have liked to shop for antiques.
He might have built model airplanes.
He might have had a really irritating family.
He might have held the door open for others at the grocery store.
He might have cut people in line at the grocery store.
He might have had a season pass to Sandcastle.
He might have worked out 7 days a week.
He might have kept a journal.
He and I might have made eye contact with each other sometime in this tiny city.

I made a point to myself.  He had a personality, whether he was an asshole, kind, patient, grumpy, shy, or reclusive, as I had once heard.  And I think that makes it a lot less scary.  I'm not sure what it is about the fear of the unknown.  I have to keep making up stories for this reason.  He was probably like lots of people I've met before, and if I make that association, I can be sad instead of afraid.  I haven't been able to sit alone in my living room, which is closer to the door, which is closer to the stairwell, which is closer to the basement, since Wednesday.  Now I think I'm okay to go out there.  It's Sunday night and I think I hear The Simpsons calling my name.  It's about damn time.  Brent keeps texting me random Simpsons quotes and I've been getting extremely envious that he's taking the time out of his "busy" school schedule to spend some quality hours with the tube.